I don’t know what to call it, that annoying dark one inside me. Alter ego? Or anti- happy? The One Who Shall Not Be Named is there. I try to ignore it, but in the morning hours when I first awake and my defenses is low, it more prominently shows up in my heart and gives the heart an unwanted shade.
Yesterday morning was the first morning of this Hawaii trip, and I looked forward to the yoga practice as we were staying at a “retreat”. But I was bothered by the dark one and was in a bad mood.
When we got to the yoga place, it was packed. The instructor moved us outside to the lawn. I complained out aloud, as the grass was still wet under the morning dew.
The instructor led us into a prayer:
As we look back, we see gratitude
As we look ahead, we see vision
As we look up, we see strength
And as we look inside, we see peace.
I looked inside, there was no peace.
As we were moving our bodies through different yoga poses, the wind blew, the sun came out and went back in, the heavy mist fell on us, then it was the rain, and rain and sun came at the same time, and the sun stayed alone. Our fragile human bodies, with small tolerance for temperature change, took in these nature’s gifts one at a time.
Each time the sky was clear, there was a large rainbow presenting itself across the horizon covering half of the sky. It was majestic. It was shockingly amazing.
And I, my heart, finally calmed down and found momentary peace.