elevator or stairIt’s not a tombstone question. It’s not about finding who we are, what we meant to do in life and what our tombstones will display after we die. These are good topics to contemplate from time to time. But by all means we should not stop living just because we don’t have answers to these questions.

I have seen people live in great confidence. They don’t think; they do. And I, as an observer, could envisage writing illustrious eulogies for them already, though they are still young and still morphing into even greater beings as we speak.

What I tend to do is thinking too much, lumping all my desires and challenges together, and feeling hopeless as to what, if anything, I could do. It can be easily overwhelming and causing anxieties. One of my best traits, however, is the ability to escape from reality and immerse myself in a fantasy world. It has served me without fail since childhood and it is still my best weapon against my unnecessary apprehensions today.

Gratefully, I was inspired to separate my many hopes and desires and to only address one single item at a time. I was also encouraged to replace the time-wasting escape methods, such as reading a novel or watching a movie, to more productive ones, such as drawing, painting or playing a music instrument.

It was Valentine’s day yesterday and I felt content. TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. Isn’t that what we all want in life?

Author’s Note: Sorry for a short and delayed post. I had a day trip from 7a┬áto 11p and was simply physically too tired to write anything.


Chinese new year

This Hawaiian native came into the yoga room, beaming with joy. He said “Happy Chinese New Year” to a few people in the room he knew, and apparently the morning had gone so well for him that he was excited about an auspicious new year.

I always wondered how people could be so happy, sometimes even with a little envy.

He came by and chatted with us, and told us about the Sun Yat Sen park and the history of the family with Hawaii.

Sun Yat Sen is a name known by all Chinese.  He was considered the father of the Republic of China and had led the revolution back in 1911 that brought down the two-thousand-year old imperial system.

While I was happy to learn about the Sun Yat Sen – Hawaii connection, it’s his brother’s story that I’d like to share.  Sun Yat Sen’s older brother Sun Mei was a successful merchant, and was the one who had supported Sun Yat Sen’s education.  Later, he had acquired massive land in Maui and was nicknamed King of Kula.  However, Sun Mei had to sell off his land piece by piece, then his business and finally to declare bankruptcy just to support his younger brother’s revolution in China. I wonder whether Sun Mei had done it out of the love for his younger brother, or out of his own political ideology. Probably both.  But standing beside Sun Yat Sen’s statue and looking at the vast land beneath my feet and the pacific ocean beyond, the land once belonged to Sun Mei, I couldn’t help feeling the love Sun Mei had for his brother.

Maybe one’s passion doesn’t have to be art, music, science or business, maybe one’s passion is the love of someone else, be it one’s children, lover or in this case a brother.

How to define a successful life? What to write on one’s tombstone? Here at the Sun Yet Sen park, where the world celebrates him as a courageous thinker and leader of his era, I give my respect to his brother.

Yet, would I be satisfied if my tombstone says “a good daughter and a loving wife”?  Most likely not, as I feel I need to be more than just that.